What Not to Do on a First Date Summed Up in One Bad Date

What Not to Do on a First Date Summed Up in One Bad Date


waiting at the bar alone
Waiting at the bar….

The Set-Up

Over the summer, I received a message from a guy on OK Cupid. He referenced my taste in music, which was enough to pique my interest. We exchanged emails and I learned that he lived in my neighborhood. I’m always on the fence about that. Plus side, super convenient! Down side, could end terribly! Against my better judgement, I agree to a date. (He had really good taste in music!)

We agree to meet at a local bar within walking distance on a Saturday afternoon at 2:30pm for day drinking. I arrived to the bar around 2:20pm, knowing I was there early. I ordered a pint and began reading my book. For the first 5-10 mins I was there, I kept looking at the door when someone came in. But didn’t see my date. The bar was pretty empty (since it was Saturday afternoon).

The No Show

At 2:30pm, he texted that he was just leaving his apartment and would be here soon. Okay? That’s the time we were supposed to meet. But I didn’t have anywhere to be. So I sat there reading my book, enjoying my beer. I didn’t text him to let him know that I was there (for no reason in particular).

Close to 3pm, I’m getting to the end of my beer when someone sits down next to me. The guy doesn’t say anything to me but I still look over. It’s a guy that looks older than the date I was expecting. We made eye contact, and he still didn’t say anything. So I assumed it wasn’t my date. He didn’t really look like my date. And he didn’t say anything to me.

Worst Than a No Show

When the guy gets up to get a beer, I check my phone for texts from the date. None. Now I’m convinced that random guy isn’t my date. Then he sits down next to me again. And now I receive a text, “Sitting at the bar”. At this point, he still hasn’t said anything to me.

I’d been sitting at the bar for half an hour, already finished a beer, and was feeling really awkward. My brain started going: Why hadn’t he said anything? Why didn’t he look like his photo? We do have same taste in music. I bet he’s an interesting person. But this will be a really awkward date. And now I just want to go home. Should I just leave the bar? I never confirmed I was here.

Date Ditcher

While I was contemplating my entire life, I feel a tap on the shoulder. The date, who hadn’t said a word to me for the 5 minutes he was sitting next to me, touched me on the shoulder to get my attention. He didn’t say my name. Or start making small-talk. He just poked me in the shoulder blade. It was the most awkward behavior I can think of!

Go ahead and hate my guts but after the poking I just got up from my seat and walked out. I didn’t make any acknowledgement that it was me. I never texted back. Sorry guy. Learn some social manners.

To folks new in the dating world, all of this is exactly what not to do on a first date.


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